Emily Mariah Matson
November 19, 1975 - April 15, 1998
It is with much regret that we inform you of the passing of Emily
Mariah Matson (also known as artemis) on the 15th of April, in the 1998th
year of our
Lord. Ms. Matson was found in the evening on her dormitory floor, with
the last chapter of her thesis opened on her computer. Fellow students at
Reed College, from which Ms. Matson was about to graduate, speculate that
it may have
been the thesis that caused her early departure from this life. Ms.
Matson had just finished her final revisions, and without the will to
thesis, she may no longer have had the will to live.
Ms. Matson is survived by four parents, three grandparents, many friends
and relations, a thesis adviser who, ironically, has more revisions for
the thesis, and three My Little Ponies. Her thesis, however, is glad
to be rid of her.
Observers of the recent #alt.vampyres death-toll phenomena, however, were not surprised.