Emily Mariah Matson

a/k/a artemis

November 19, 1975 - April 15, 1998

It is with much regret that we inform you of the passing of Emily Mariah Matson (also known as artemis) on the 15th of April, in the 1998th year of our Lord. Ms. Matson was found in the evening on her dormitory floor, with the last chapter of her thesis opened on her computer. Fellow students at Reed College, from which Ms. Matson was about to graduate, speculate that it may have been the thesis that caused her early departure from this life. Ms. Matson had just finished her final revisions, and without the will to thesis, she may no longer have had the will to live.

Ms. Matson is survived by four parents, three grandparents, many friends and relations, a thesis adviser who, ironically, has more revisions for the thesis, and three My Little Ponies. Her thesis, however, is glad to be rid of her.

Observers of the recent #alt.vampyres death-toll phenomena, however, were not surprised.