(12/31/76 - 4/15/98)

Morpheus, aka Joe, was involved in a tragic pool accident earlier today at FatCat, in New York City. He had taken off from work early to celebrate, because he thought he would be immune to the plague affecting #alt.vampyres denizens. He was practicing some "fancy" shots to impress ex-vixen, now DeadKash, when a giant cockroach leaped out and bit his foot. While trying to defend himself with his pool stick, he tripped over the little doors and fell onto the air hockey table where a puck knocked him unconcious. Reports indicate that he woke up in the garbage dump (Staten Island) and tried to swim to New Jersey. He grew a tail and a third arm while trudging through the nuclear waste, but he was in stable condition at Bellvue Hospital until the afternoon. He was allegedly on his way to Long Island to visit Kashie, when he fell in amongst a group of evil trendy teenagers, commonly known as "mallrats". They attacked Joe, and chattered to him in a high pitched frequency, which shattered his ear drums. He finally gave in to fate and fed himself to the llamas. Not many people will miss him, because they're already dead.

More Mysterious Deaths