Nov. 2, 1974 -- April 8, 1998

It is our sad duty to inform you that Michael Whitney, a.k.a. Emrys, has died.

He was cutting off one of those mattress tags that say "do not remove" when the CIA stormed his house and shot him in the head 47 times. The mattress survived.

I know everyone in the heartless smart ass community will miss him deeply.

The bile has been swallowed.

This strange death was later linked to a string of similar events.