WARNING:Has some innapropriate languege so dont read if you are atleast under 17, or 16.

Disclaimer: I do not own the character D in any way. I do not intend to infringe on the rights of any companies that are associated with the making of the anime, or the novals.

Arthure Notes: First I just wanto say thanks to Cathy for tweaking my crapy messed up files and postin um on her site. Anyways I finally got some time off work so I decided to write this short fic. Even though it only took me an hour to do it was a big load off my mind. I also wanted to say sorry about the crapy ending(you'll know what I mean when you get there) I just couldent think of anything else. Anyways I sure hope you enjoy reading it as I did writing it. See ya later people.

Interview with D and some black guy     By Derek L. Baker

Nov.21st 02, 9AM, D is invited to an interview; lets hear what he has to say about his past.

D enters a large white room with a table sitting in the middle. A man with glasses is sitting at the far end of the table. Next to the man is a small tape recorder.

Interviewer: "Hello, you must be D, please take a seat and we may begin."

D: "Yeah, ok."

Interviewer: "So D, how have you been?"

D: "Just fine."

Interviewer: "We can start when the other one arrives."

D: "Other one?"

Interviewer: "Yes, he is a big fan of yours and he wanted to be apart of this interview."

D: "Oh great, a fan." "I'm so happy."(D says sadly)

Interviewer: "I'm glad you're so enthusiastic about meeting him."


Suddenly the door bursts open. Then a black man walks in. He is wearing baggy clothes, a large cross necklace, and sunglasses. He walks towards the table, takes off his sunglasses and smiles.


Ice Cube: "Hey, wassup ma hommies who are in my crib."

D: "Can you please run that by me again, I didn't understand one word."

Ice Cube: "How's my D doing?"

D: ‘Who's your D?"

Ice Cube: "Hey man, don't worry, sometimes I don't even know what I'm saying."(he laughs)

D: "Umm... ok..."

Interviewer: "Ok, lets start shall we?"

Ice Cube: "Yo, ma brotha, I'm one step ahead of ya's."

Interviewer: (smiles) "That's nice, ok let's start."

Interviewer: "Ok D, let's start off at the beginning." "When were you born?"

D: "I don't know."

Interviewer: "Hmm, ok, I'm going to need a better answer, let's say 1968."

Interviewer: "Can you tell me about your parents?"

D: "Well... my dad was a vampire and my mom wasn't."

 Interviewer: ... "Right... and what exactly was your mother?"

D: "I think she was a whore."

Interviewer: "No, I mean was she a human?"

D: "Oh, yeah, she was."

Interviewer: "Anyways, lets get back to your mother's occupation." "Why did she do what she did?"

D: "I'm not sure if she even was, I just figured that anyone who would be stupid enough to sleep with a vampire would have to be a hooker, am I right?"

Interviewer: "Well, that's a good logic you have there but that really doesn't say anything." "Lets just say she was a house wife."

D: "Ok, sure."

Ice Cube: "Hey yo man, aren't you going to ask me anything?"

Interviewer: "Look, I said you could listen, but this interview is not about you."

Ice Cube: "Yeah man, your just saying that because I'm black, that cuts me real deep man."

Interviewer: "No, I don't have anything against blacks."

Ice Cube: "Yes you do."

Interviewer: "No I don't."

D: "Guys, guys, let's just get along please."

Ice Cube: "Yeah, sorry D, but the racist guy over there started it!'

Interviewer: "No I'm not."

Ice Cube: "Yes you are!"

D: "ENOUGH!" "Let's just get along!"

Interviewer: "Fine, Ill interview you to." "So what do you do?"

Ice Cube: "Well, I'm a rapper, and I was also involved in some movies such as Friday, Next Friday, Ghosts of mars, and Anaconda."

D: "Iv seen Anaconda before." "Yeah, that one chick, Jennifer Lopez was really hot."

Ice Cube: "Yeah, I was really cool in it wasn't I?"

D: "I'm not sure, I just starred at that Lopez chick's ass through the whole thing."

Ice Cube: "Yeah... well I was the camera guy, I was really cool in that one brotha."

Ice Cube: "Oh, D! tell him about that talking thing on your hand."

D: "Id rather not."

Ice Cube: "Common, please."

D: "Ok, whatever."


D gets up and removes the glove from his left hand. He holds it up to show the interviewer the ugly face thing on his hand.


D's hand: "Thank god, I thought he would never show me."

D: "This is my hand."

D's hand: "I'm not D's hand, I'm my own hand and I am owned by no one."

D: "Shut up you, I just knew it was a bad idea to take off the glove."

Interviewer: "No, no, it's ok." "What a cute and fascinating little creature this is."

D's hand: "I know, I'm also very smart." "I have reading skills, I know mathematics, and I can even write, with the help of D of course."

Interviewer: "Interesting."

Ice Cube: "Man, there isn't anything interesting about that, it's just a hand with a face on it."

D's hand: "If you think I'm interesting, you should meet D's balls.

D: "What do you mean!"

D's hand: "D, you didn't know that your balls can talk?"

D: "They do not."

D's hand: "Look down and see for your self."


Everyone stares at D's crotch. They sit and listen for a moment. After a minute they heard something.


D's balls: "Hi D, will you please scratch us?"

D: "OH MY GOD!" "I had no idea!!"

Ice Cube: "Wow brotha, now that's wild stuff."

Interviewer: "Now that is just vile."

Ice Cube: "Shut up yo, you know your racist, so shut up and talk into your little tape recorder!"

Interviewer: "Ok, now what we have here are emotional outbursts."

Ice Cube: "Man, I had just about enough of your bull shit!"

Interviewer: "Now let's all just calm down." "I know we are all shocked about D's talking genitals but we must remember that it is not his fault."

D: "Alright, I'm leaving, this isn't no interview!"

Interviewer: "No, it's ok D, we are all in an anger state, but we must get over our problems."

Ice Cube: "Man, why you talking like a damn psychiatrist or somthin?"

D: "Ok, this is ridiculous and pointless!"

Interviewer: "No!" "Umm, D, what do you do for a living?"

D: "I hunt vampires and stuff."

Interviewer: "Ok D, is there anything strange about you besides your talking body parts?"

D: "I am half vampire and half human."

Ice Cube: "Hey, ask me something!"

Interviewer: "Ok, is there anything about you that makes you different from D and I?"

Ice Cube: "Oh, I see you are insulting me again, racist!"

Interviewer: "I am not."

Ice Cube: "yeah, I know what you meant cracker." "I know what you meant when you used the word "DIFFERENT" you crackin racist."

Interviewer: "What, I meant no such thing!"

D's hand: "HaHaHa!" "This is so funny!"

D: "Shut up you!" "I'm so sick of you, I think I should rip you off right now!"

D's hand: "Yeah right, bite me you stupid freak, Id be happy if you ripped me off!"

D: "If I did rip you off Id step on you after words."

D's hand: "I swear if you ever threaten me like that again Ill choke you to death."

Interviewer: "Everyone, that is enough!"

D: "Ice Cube, come over and help me rip my hand off."

Ice Cube: "Sorry D, I'm going to kill this racist interviewer."


Ice Cube jumps towards the interviewer. The interviewer runs for the door but Ice Cube hits him in the back of the head. D starts grabbing for his hand but it maneuvers around D's other hand and starts biting D's nipples. Before anyone dies the cops barge in.


Cop#1: "Your all under arrest!"

Cop#2: "If you do not follow orders we will shoot you."


The interviewer got away with it, Ice Cube went to jail and lost his job, D went to the mental institution for yelling at his own hand and balls. Later D's hand got chopped off along with his balls. Both of D's body parts became famous actors and D continued hunting, handless, and without balls.



I know the end sucked but I couldn't think of anything else, lol.