D's Most Famous Interview
Lil' Nymph

Disclaimer: I only own Princess Neko and Ryu. Please excuse me for claiming Anathros through all of my other stories because Anathros belongs to one of my friends. Rylee is one of my friends, and he's really fun to pick on; so of course he doesn't belong to me.

Authors Note: I wrote this one because I'm kind of mad, and D is a really strong guy I can get into trouble.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Rylee- Ladies and gentlemen! Today on "Let's Talk" we have D.

(D reluctantly enters and takes a seat.)

Rylee- What do you do for a living?

D- The entire fucking world knows that! I'm a vampire hunter.

Rylee- Yes, um... why do you keep traveling with Neko?

D- Because she is a damphire too, (mumbles) and because some nights get really cold.

(Gives Rylee death glare.)

D- Why?

Rylee- I ask the questions. Let's talk to that hand of yours.

D- No. . .

(D stood preparing to leave.)

Rylee- Please sit down. I'll ask no questions about you. Ok?

(D sat back down, and removed the glove from his left hand before holding it up.)

Rylee- Is it ok if we call you lefty?

Lefty- Yes. I mean, why not? The rest of the freaking world does!

Rylee- What do you like best about traveling with D?

Lefty- The women...

Rylee- Is that all?

Lefty- Beer, when he allows it.

(Lefty glared at D only to have it returned.)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Back at the camp Anathros and Ryu were watching the show while Neko was running about the house.

Neko- That bastard! That was all he saw in me! Where are those stakes!? And the garlic water!?

(Neko ran around the house looking for her stuff.)

Anathros- The stakes are beneath your bed!

Ryu- We're out of garlic water! There's Holy water in my saddle bags though!

Neko- Thanks!

(Neko grabs the stuff, and runs out the door angrily.)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

(Back at the interview room.)

Rylee- How did you become a part of D?

Lefty/D- I'd prefer not to talk about it.

(D and Lefty glared at each other again.)

Rylee- Ok, back to D then. What do you think of you father?

D- ........................

Rylee- You did hear me?

Lefty- He did.

Rylee- D, please answer the question.

D- No. . .

Rylee- I've got a cookie...

D- ......................................

Rylee- . . .a bat cookie. . .

D- Give it to me. . .

Rylee- Not until you tell us what you think of your father.

D- I'm ashamed his blood runs through my veins! Now give me that damn cookie!

Rylee- Here take the entire box.

(Rylee hands D a box of cookies that are shaped like bats, and D proceeded to devours them.)

Rylee- Ok, *sigh* Um. . .D? Stop eating for a second?

Lefty- You won't get him away from that box without losing an arm. At least until it's gone. But then he might be getting high off the fumes. *chuckle*

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

(In Dracula's castle Dracula, Adrian, and a bunch of servants sit around the TV.)

Dracula- What!? That ungrateful little brat! I'll drain all of my blood from his veins!

Adrian- Only if you get there before Neko kills him.

(Dracula transformed into a bat and flew out the window.)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

(Back at the TV station D throws the empty box aside, and sits down looking for more. Finally giving up he waited for his next question.)

Rylee- Done?

D- Yes, you have two more questions before I leave. 'Done?' was one of them. So that leaves you with one.

Rylee- I still have two. That one doesn't count!

D- Does too. . .

(Rylee fakes to pout.)

D- Fine! Two more.

Rylee- Yes! I win! I win! What do you think of Adrian?

D- *light chuckle* That lazy bum! He's pretty much lived with father since birth. He's always trying to bum money off of him, and me. He tried to sleep his life away. Only waking up to put father back in his grave every hundred years. He soon found out he could easily get cash from him if he was alive. And found he liked the bar girls a lot! So he moved in with father, and he only leaves to hunt down a female for himself. I don't exactly know how many of his offspring I've killed. Once he runs out of money he is always back begging one of us. Damn him to hell!

(D slams his fist on the table.)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

(Back in the castle)

Adrian- Why that jackass! I'll cut him up into tiny pieces!

(Adrian changed into the form of a wolf and charged out the front door, and headed straight for the TV station.)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

(TV station)

D- One more question. Hurry it up!

Rylee- Um... Do you play with your self?

D- I. . .

(D is interrupted by Lefty.)

Lefty- He used to. Just to gross me out. But it then became a habit. Then, thank God for Neko! If you get my drift.

(D slammed the palm of his left hand into a wall. You could hear Lefty beginning to curse. Then the door slammed open. Neko walked in, Dracula flew in, and Adrian shove his way in snarling.)

Neko- You're a dead hunter now!

(Adrian and Dracula transformed back into their natural forms. Adrian slams the door shut and locks it with an evil, half crazed, grin.)

Rylee- Can I leave?

Neko/Adrian/Dracula/D- No!

(D reaches for his sword but he remembers he was required to remove it.)

D- Shit. . .

Everyone was punching and kicking and biting anything that got in their way. This was all seen on TV by the viewers; needless to say their rates went up. D ended up with Lefty being cut off, drained of most of his blood, and well beaten. In Adrian's rage he cut Rylee up into pieces instead of D. Neko and Lefty traveled the world together, and later on, after they too parted, Lefty got an offer to play Thing from the Adam's Family. D ended up in a hospital, and as soon as he got out he resumed hunting vampires with one hand. Adrian and Dracula continued living together, and were quite pleased with what they had done. Rylee. . .well he. . .ended up. . .dead! Anathros and Ryu are still sitting gon the couch watching TV. I think they're now watching Inuyasha pondering their retirement plan.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Ok, that did turn out how I wanted it. I'm not sure is it was well planned though. Saiyan_Butterfly and I worked on it together. All well. Bye. ^_^

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